


A Prince's Duty

by GaySlytherinDemigodOfCamelot



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, I am a mean person, Panic Attacks, Poor Arthur, This can be read as Merthur if you want it to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 17:28:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16371959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaySlytherinDemigodOfCamelot/pseuds/GaySlytherinDemigodOfCamelot
Summary: Maybe being a prince isn't all that it's made out to be.orArthur is struggling with expectations but Merlin is there to help.





	A Prince's Duty

**Author's Note:**

> The panic attack in this is of personal experience and it's not the same for everybody. If you find any of this content triggering, I suggest that you don't read this particular fic.

Arthur lounged back on his chair and closed his eyes. He'd sent Merlin to do a job that would require hours of work and hopefully, he wouldn't be back in time to see the event that was about to transpire. The prince could already feel the panic rising in his throat and he knew that there was no stopping it now.  
Being a prince was not all that it was made out to be. People expected things that you could not give them and one false move could be the difference between living and dying. King Uther had very strict ideas about what should and should not make a good son and Arthur rarely fitted into any of these categories. When Merlin was poisoned, Arthur risked his life to find the antidote only to be thrown in prison for a week by his own father. Maybe he didn't deserve to be a prince. He was so torn between friendships and family that he couldn't focus on his duties as a royal.  
Tears welled in his eyes as he put his head in his hands and he let them fall. No one was here and no one would see him like this. Ever. This was not how a prince should ever behave, crying over his own life. He should be servicing his people and not himself. His breath caught in his throat and he choked on the tears that he was trying to hold in. No one was here to see him in his moment of weakness so why shouldn't he let go? He let out a sigh and let the tears fall down his cheeks and onto his lap. He grimaced at this. The last time he cried, well, he actually couldn't remember. The water felt unfamiliar on his face and a rush of self-loathing came over him. He attempted to wipe the tears away by rubbing at his eyes but this made it so much more obvious. And then the situation got ten times worse.  
"Arthur?" Merlin knocked on the door. "I've finished!"  
Arthur swore under his breath but didn't get up to open the door. There was no way that Merlin was going to see him in such a state.  
"Are you okay in there, Arthur?"  
"I'm fine, Merlin. Now go and-go and fold my socks or something." He cringed as his voice cracked. That did it for Merlin, who seemed to have a sixth scent about Arthur's emotions.  
The dark haired boy opened the door and stormed into the room. He took one look at the Prince and then pulled a chair and sat beside him. Arthur groaned and turning away from Merlin, let more tears fall. Vaguely, he heard the other curse. Merlin then got up and stood in front of the royal.  
"What. Is. Wrong?"  
That's when Arthur broke down. His shoulders shuddered as tears cascaded down his face in a waterfall. Clearly perplexed, Merlin stood back.  
"A-Arthur?"  
"Merlin. Leave now." He choked out.  
"No."  
"I'm the prince," Arthur growled, "You have to do as I say."  
"I won't. Not this time."  
"And why not?"  
Once again, Arthur's voice cracked.  
Merlin didn't hesitate with his answer:  
"Because although I serve you, you are also my friend and you are clearly upset. I want to help."  
Merlin paused. "So, what's the matter?"  
Arthur looked up at Merlin. The dark-haired boy's eyes were full of concern. The prince took a deep breath.  
"Because people expect so much of me and I can't please everybody. Everybody hates me even myself and I can't deal with displeasing everybody all of the time. I always end up hurting someone one way or another and I don't want to. I displease father by being me and I don't want to die thinking that he hated me and I can't bear any of this. I feel so weak and that's probably because I am and you're going to think that I'm a coward now. I don't deserve any of this kindness. I don't deserve to be alive."  
A new wave of tears started to pour down his face and he covered his face in his arms, ashamed of what his friend had seen. He didn't realize that he was breathing erratically or that he was shaking or that Merlin was saying his name. It wasn't until he fell off the chair and onto the floor that he realized he was anywhere at all. The other boy sat beside him as Arthur rocked back and forth is some feeble attempt to comfort himself. Merlin moved in front of the boy and gripped his shoulders. Arthur groaned and tried to focus entirely on the touch of his friend. That didn't seem to work very well. The suffocating feeling returned and once again, he couldn't breathe.  
"Hey, Arthur! Look at me!"  
The prince shook his head. It was already mortifying enough that someone had to see him in such a state but for someone to help him? No. That was not happening. 

"Arthur! You need to breathe!"  
"I can't!" He choked. He felt his lungs closing up and he knew that he was going to pass out any second now if he didn't calm down.  
"Arthur," Merlin whispered softly, "Just copy me."  
Merlin breathed in but when Arthur tried to do the same, it resulted in a massive coughing fit.  
"Hey, Hey! Take it slow!" Murmured the dark-haired boy as he rubbed circles on the prince's back. "Try again."  
This time, Arthur managed to breathe in without too much trouble. Merlin smiled softly and said, "Breathe out."  
Arthur obeyed and after repeating this a few times he felt almost instant relief. He began to uncurl his body as the panic began to drain from his mind and he was left with an empty shell.  
"Look at me, Arthur."  
The other boy sure was persistent and Arthur wasn't in the mood to be told what to do. But when the royal looked at Merlin the sorcerer gasped. It was probably because Arthur had never shown true emotion around Merlin. Actually, no one had seen him in this state.  
"You should have come straight to me, Arthur!" Chided Merlin softly. "I would have helped!"  
Arthur felt a wave of shame wash over him. He'd troubled Merlin and he'd wasted his time; that was not something a prince would do.  
"You feel guilty, Arthur. Don't," Merlin said gently. "You have done nothing wrong."  
"But-" The dark haired one cut him off.  
"Arthur. You are worth so much more than you think. You don't have to please everybody to be a prince that your people look up to. And your father? You are your own person and you shouldn't have to bow down to him just because he is your guardian. Arthur, you are not weak even if you think that you are. You deserve so much more than this and deep down you know it."  
Arthur let out a small smile and leaned his head against the wall.  
"If you ever need my help Arthur, I'll be there."  
Merlin stood up suddenly.  
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have some socks to fold."  
And with that, his servant walked out of the room.  
Arthur rose slowly and headed over to his desk. Maybe his friend wasn't so clueless after all.  
End.


End file.
